It so often seems we won’t be able to get through it. We doubt our strength, our ability, ourselves. But I like to sometimes play a little “game” with myself, and remind myself how much has changed in the last month, six months, year. Not to dwell on the negatives, but to remind myself that the current state won’t last forever. For example: This time last year, I wasn’t married, I had a different car, a different job, I hadn’t been to Greece. All of those pretty big things changed in less than a year. So when you feel like you can’t get through it, remember, you’ve been here before, and you got through. Even though it may not feel like it, things will change.
Depression lies. It tells us that we are incapable, unlovable, unworthy. It tells us that we’re a failure. It tells us that every negative thing that we’ve ever thought about ourselves or someone has said about us is true. And it is an extremely convincing liar. And it isn’t just as simple as choosing to not believe them, no matter what anyone says. Perhaps keep a compliments notebook (if you’re unfamiliar, it’s a notebook where you write the positives people say about depression makes you forget). Or write bright neon stickies that say “depression lies” and put them someplace you’re likely to seem them when needed. Whatever works for you.
I once remember telling my therapist that I ruined another day by doing … something, I don’t remember what. She looked at me and, basically, asked “Why?”. She further clarified, “Why does something that took up less than one hour make it a bad day.? You have 23 other hours to make it a good day.” And it’s so true. Barring traumatic events, of course, one bad hour is simply that – a bad hour. So instead of blaming yourself and turning a bad hour into two, three, etc, allow it to be what it was, and work on improving the next 23.
It’s Ok to not feel OK. And it’s Ok to admit it. Nobody should have to wear a mask throughout life, simply for having an illness they would never have chosen to have (because who would choose to have an illness?). So on the days that you don’t feel Ok, I hope these thoughts help a little. I know that they have for me. And don’t forget to take extra good care of yourself on these days. You deserve it.